Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
