she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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