Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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