It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
