ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
