Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
