figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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