ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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