So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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