Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
