We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
