it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
