Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
