Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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