he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
