You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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