I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
