Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
