Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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