It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she woke up with a sticky ear
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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