she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm both gender and math confused
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
