do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
