You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
