This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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