Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
