For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
