Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
