i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
