I'm drive I can fine osifer
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
