I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i think i just lost a toe
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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