We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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