I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I still have a little drunk in my system
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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