What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
