you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
