8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
