People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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