Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
