haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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