We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
