Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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