You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
