At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
