oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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