If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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