i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
