idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
