If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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