Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
being pregnant is like rehab
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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