Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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