Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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